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How to get best out of coaching relationship

How to get best out of coaching relationship?

Coaching is a relationship where the coachee is empowered to uncover and develop their own route to achieving. It is a reflective process and therefore coachee should be ready to dive into their thoughts, emotions and be willing to talk about them. This may sometimes be very easy or may take time but needs to be there for the coach to partner. It is a two ways dynamic where the coachee talks more. Coach is there to hold the space, be present and curious.

As coaches deal with such personal and sensitive information, they should abide by ethical guidelines. Some professional organizations, such as EMCC and ICF have developed guidelines and codes of conduct that apply to the practice of coaching. (EMCC Code of Ethics) (ICF Ethical Codes).

On coachee side, the biggest factors that can maximize coaching impact are…


  • Curiosity for Self-Awareness– Self awareness happens when we experience a cognitive shift and see/consider a perspective we’ve never considered before. It is a core skill to understand how one successfully engage with If clients have the curiosity to tune in to how they are triggered, they are in a much better position to formulate their communication style to connect with others more effectively. When we connect, we improve our ability to influence and as a result, enhance our leadership effectiveness. The prerequisite for this step is to create a healthy relationship with oneself. It’s the ability to remain open to other perspectives, despite what we know, or think we know.


Question is “How are you ready to be curious about yourself first?”


  • Openness to be Vulnerable– Self awareness is mostly followed by self confrontation. Self confrontation is where we examine our own behaviours and attitudes to make a change for a more fullfilled life. By doing this a person can change themselves by finding and correcting some of the flaws that are found in their process.  Accepting a flaw may sound painful at the beginning but obviously very powerful as it becomes a tool to control their influence area. And/or they will find their strengths to build on.


Question is “How are you ready to be discover your developmental areas and talk about them?”


  • Accountability– Personal development needs time and determination. The client needs to be intentional about their growth and willing to occasionally step outside their comfort zone, where the magic happens. Coaching is a process. The more client becomes accountable and take responsibility in the process the more learning takes place. Developing the self compassion is a key to achieve a balance to take the challenge of being out of comfort zone.


Question is “How are you ready to take the responsibility and accept to move out of comfort zone?”


  • Reflective and Action Learning– We all learn by doing and reflecting on the experience. We learn by reflecting on how we have done and been. Taking action, experimenting and reflecting are the main stations of the learning process. When learning through mistakes are partnered with a coach, the blind spots become more clear. A coach becomes a mirror by closely observing ang giving feedback.


Question is “How are you ready to take time thinking on your deeds, feelings and thoughts?”